QUESTION - What wall?.
ANSWER - The Wall that Jesus brings us through.
There is a snapping point in everyone's journey through the recovery of addiction. There is a moment in life when we need power that we can actually feel. There comes a day when so many of us need a deeper peace, understanding and hope than we have had in the past. 'The Holy Spirit High' is what I call it. A sense that all is going to be perfectly fine, that trials and tribulations may come, but as long as Jesus is with me, I can go through them all, one day at a time, without the need to turn back and ask the devil for his drugs. Addiction is the Devil, no doubt about it. To recover one must have the faith that the future will undoubtedly be much better than our past. That God has a new life for us, a new day, a fresh way of thinking, a healthier way of feeling, a more optimistic way of evaluating our situations.
'The King of Lies' has no good intentions for you. He is waiting for you to return to him in whatever addiction he can insert into your soul. He loves Misery in the program because that generates hopelessness. And there is nothing more evident in a person who wants to go back and use than the aura of a hopeless heart. We need to place ALL of our hope in Jesus. We need to place ALL of our faith in Jess. Or else we will place ALL of our being in Satan's dirty hands.
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label addiction. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
PHILIPPIANS - 4.13 - I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO MAKES ME STRONG
The words from Philippians are, for me, a reminder that God knew well in advance we would be tested with many hardships. Addiction is the Nr. 1 tool of the Devil. From it appear all forms of sin, lies, dishonesty and evil. It not only destroy the addict or alcoholic, but tears down the hope and humanity of so many others.
It has been vitally important during my walk with Jesus to realize I also need my 12 step group - no matter how Holy or Spiritual I may feel. I have witnessed so many good-hearted Christians pray over addicts time and time again - asking for guidance and support in what to do. I have approached the same people moments later with a view to bringing them to a 12 Step meeting, only to be frowned upon. 'I'll stick with the church, AA, or NA are not for me'.
I have met pastors who are deeply suspicious of 12 steps groups because they read some off-the-wall book by some fundamentalist crusader looking for extra notches on his publishing deal. Or they have heard gossip or bad stories about 12 Step groups, which is all honesty are just lies. It is no doubt a fact that many people going to such groups are off-the-walls, misled or downright defiant at God, I mean, why else would they be going there? But there is something in those groups that keeps the addiction at bay, and many come to know Jesus through the 12 steps.
The reality is this and this alone.
I have met very few people along the way who have defeated addiction, over a long-term basis, without using the 12 steps in whatever addiction they have. I have met hundreds of Christians who have gone back to their addictions because of their refusal to work the 12 steps. Which side would you like to be on? Which side would you like the addict to be on?
On the flipside I have met many a 12 step worker who frowns upon Christianity, yet, without a shadow of a doubt, all the happiest people I know working a 12 step program are doing it through Jesus Christ. This is a great fact that I cannot ignore, because I am evidence of it.
In conclusion I would like to state from my own experience, that 12 Step groups are generally a group of people helping each other to get from one day to the next without using. Through the strength of Identification, the motive of self-preservation, and a deep desire not to act out, there comes a bond that fights the disease of addiction. It works - it really does.
It has been vitally important during my walk with Jesus to realize I also need my 12 step group - no matter how Holy or Spiritual I may feel. I have witnessed so many good-hearted Christians pray over addicts time and time again - asking for guidance and support in what to do. I have approached the same people moments later with a view to bringing them to a 12 Step meeting, only to be frowned upon. 'I'll stick with the church, AA, or NA are not for me'.
I have met pastors who are deeply suspicious of 12 steps groups because they read some off-the-wall book by some fundamentalist crusader looking for extra notches on his publishing deal. Or they have heard gossip or bad stories about 12 Step groups, which is all honesty are just lies. It is no doubt a fact that many people going to such groups are off-the-walls, misled or downright defiant at God, I mean, why else would they be going there? But there is something in those groups that keeps the addiction at bay, and many come to know Jesus through the 12 steps.
The reality is this and this alone.
I have met very few people along the way who have defeated addiction, over a long-term basis, without using the 12 steps in whatever addiction they have. I have met hundreds of Christians who have gone back to their addictions because of their refusal to work the 12 steps. Which side would you like to be on? Which side would you like the addict to be on?
On the flipside I have met many a 12 step worker who frowns upon Christianity, yet, without a shadow of a doubt, all the happiest people I know working a 12 step program are doing it through Jesus Christ. This is a great fact that I cannot ignore, because I am evidence of it.
In conclusion I would like to state from my own experience, that 12 Step groups are generally a group of people helping each other to get from one day to the next without using. Through the strength of Identification, the motive of self-preservation, and a deep desire not to act out, there comes a bond that fights the disease of addiction. It works - it really does.
Friday, November 14, 2008
MY HOLY SPIRIT EXPERIENCE FROM ADDICTION
I have been sober now for 13 Years, 5 Months, 9 days and 4 hours. For the first 7 years I worked the 12 Steps to the best of my ability, in fact, I worked them so well that it kept me away from drink, gambling and drugs. This was a huge victory for me, a huge, huge victory, not to be demeaned or underestimated.
But there was something missing in my life – a huge hole was developing in me that was not going away. It was the Holy Spirit void, the dark chasm of self will that was carrying me forward whilst taking me backwards into the oblivion and confusion of my own mind. Gladly, pain and suffering would soon change my point of view.
When I was 7 years sober I had already started to read the bible, go to church occasionally and accept Jesus as my saviour(Sort of). I knew he existed but I fought that reality with my pride. I was trudging from one day to the next, going to meetings and church but I was not in a good shape.
Both in the rooms of 12 Step groups and in the Churches we join ourselves to, it is very easy to avoid the calling of Jesus Christ. In fact, within any group, including your own house, one can get lost in the midst of the chaos, forgetting that a direct and close relationship with Jesus is the only important reality there is. I know that today, perhaps I knew it then, but I was not in a place where I could accept it – maybe I was not ready.
Then my Mother committed suicide, my businesses failed, there was my life literally falling into the devils playground. Panic attacks, nervousness and hopelessness was my lot. I was left with a horrifying experience that brought me to the edge of hell. One minute was like 4 days. I was suffering emotionally beyond what I could describe. I had contemplated and half attempted suicide a few times in my life, but if I were to go down that road this time, it would be complete.
Somehow days turned into weeks and weeks into a few months. I had been through weeks and months of nervousness, panic attacks, mental anguish and emotional pain – but I had not acted out on my addictions, something Satan himself was betting on.
In fact, through all of this, I didn’t even pick up a cigarette, which was the first action I would have expected from someone like me in such circumstances. I had never been to a place where I was COMPLETELY OUT OF ANSWERS. My Heart was broken, in recovery and in Christ. My hope was completely gone – and when I say completely I mean it.
I would work 18 hours a day, get into my car and drive to a forest, where, I would sit until the morning, crying and moaning, almost hoping a gang of thugs would drive by and shoot me in the head.
I was on a one-way ticket to an early grave, hoping it would arrive sooner rather than later. I was inches away from the great abyss when Jesus Christ whacked me across the face. I say WHACKED because it wasn’t gentleness or kindness I needed, but I wake-up-call.
I stood on a packed street corner, the rain already soaking into me. A voice came to my head ‘You need to go to this building and you need to go there today’. It was the voice of the Holy Spirit, a crystal clear tone I recognised instantaneously.
The building in question was actually a Christian Church I had accidentally? strolled into a few weeks previous, it was about 30 minutes walk away on a normal day. The funny thing is –there were floods in the city , the river had burst its banks, everyone was warned to get out and stay out and it was very dangerous to attempt to get there. This fact gave me even more reason to attempt to walk there because I had lost my fear of anything real. I knew I had to make it.
I walked(Waist Deep) across the city. The dirty water, the rain, the fear of life was doing its best to eat me up. But I made it across, down the street, up a hill, where the flood waters had failed to make it and I rang the door of the church. There was no one around except a few cars in the distance.
A gentle-faced lady answered the door, she welcomed me in, she apologised for there being no bible study(No one else made it through the Flood). She eventually managed to find me a large pair of trousers, and a dry t-shirt. Then she made ma cup of tea.
I sat in the building, as if I was waiting for Jesus himself to walk out of the room. Little did I realize he was walking right beside since the day I was born. I knew I had won my first battle with the Devil. He was certain I was going to die. He was wrong.
But there was something missing in my life – a huge hole was developing in me that was not going away. It was the Holy Spirit void, the dark chasm of self will that was carrying me forward whilst taking me backwards into the oblivion and confusion of my own mind. Gladly, pain and suffering would soon change my point of view.
When I was 7 years sober I had already started to read the bible, go to church occasionally and accept Jesus as my saviour(Sort of). I knew he existed but I fought that reality with my pride. I was trudging from one day to the next, going to meetings and church but I was not in a good shape.
Both in the rooms of 12 Step groups and in the Churches we join ourselves to, it is very easy to avoid the calling of Jesus Christ. In fact, within any group, including your own house, one can get lost in the midst of the chaos, forgetting that a direct and close relationship with Jesus is the only important reality there is. I know that today, perhaps I knew it then, but I was not in a place where I could accept it – maybe I was not ready.
Then my Mother committed suicide, my businesses failed, there was my life literally falling into the devils playground. Panic attacks, nervousness and hopelessness was my lot. I was left with a horrifying experience that brought me to the edge of hell. One minute was like 4 days. I was suffering emotionally beyond what I could describe. I had contemplated and half attempted suicide a few times in my life, but if I were to go down that road this time, it would be complete.
Somehow days turned into weeks and weeks into a few months. I had been through weeks and months of nervousness, panic attacks, mental anguish and emotional pain – but I had not acted out on my addictions, something Satan himself was betting on.
In fact, through all of this, I didn’t even pick up a cigarette, which was the first action I would have expected from someone like me in such circumstances. I had never been to a place where I was COMPLETELY OUT OF ANSWERS. My Heart was broken, in recovery and in Christ. My hope was completely gone – and when I say completely I mean it.
I would work 18 hours a day, get into my car and drive to a forest, where, I would sit until the morning, crying and moaning, almost hoping a gang of thugs would drive by and shoot me in the head.
I was on a one-way ticket to an early grave, hoping it would arrive sooner rather than later. I was inches away from the great abyss when Jesus Christ whacked me across the face. I say WHACKED because it wasn’t gentleness or kindness I needed, but I wake-up-call.
I stood on a packed street corner, the rain already soaking into me. A voice came to my head ‘You need to go to this building and you need to go there today’. It was the voice of the Holy Spirit, a crystal clear tone I recognised instantaneously.
The building in question was actually a Christian Church I had accidentally? strolled into a few weeks previous, it was about 30 minutes walk away on a normal day. The funny thing is –there were floods in the city , the river had burst its banks, everyone was warned to get out and stay out and it was very dangerous to attempt to get there. This fact gave me even more reason to attempt to walk there because I had lost my fear of anything real. I knew I had to make it.
I walked(Waist Deep) across the city. The dirty water, the rain, the fear of life was doing its best to eat me up. But I made it across, down the street, up a hill, where the flood waters had failed to make it and I rang the door of the church. There was no one around except a few cars in the distance.
A gentle-faced lady answered the door, she welcomed me in, she apologised for there being no bible study(No one else made it through the Flood). She eventually managed to find me a large pair of trousers, and a dry t-shirt. Then she made ma cup of tea.
I sat in the building, as if I was waiting for Jesus himself to walk out of the room. Little did I realize he was walking right beside since the day I was born. I knew I had won my first battle with the Devil. He was certain I was going to die. He was wrong.
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